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I remember standing there looking at her naked body as she lay on my bed. I knew what was coming. At least I hoped. But all the excitement and anticipation did not diminish a low voice inside my head. This isn’t my wife.

I cannot describe the emotion floating through me as guilt. My wife passed away over two years ago. But there was a flinching moment when I wondered if I was doing something wrong. As I undressed more thoughts:

How do I look?

What if I do something wrong?

What would my kids say?

Can I still perform?

Do I need a condom?

How do I start?

I was nudged from my self-centered thoughts by hands touching me in a new and very stimulating fashion. As I started to give in to the sensation, my head flooded again with a thought that almost deflated me. What if things don’t go perfectly? What if I don’t …

Thankfully, she sensed my concerns and whispered how much she wanted to be close. From there on I relaxed and went forward with my first time … in a long time.

Review of Suddenly Sexual  2.25.20

SUDDENLY SEXUAL is the second book written by Harold (Hal) Spielman, a 90 plus senior himself, and co- authored by Kay Renz an established writer.  Together they collaborated to create a fast read, very graphic, and explicit set of 25 stories. Each one describes in great detail the experiences of  seniors who are either widowed or divorced, with “first time” again sexual intimacy.

This book can serve as an informational guide or road-map to allow seniors who might feel guilt, fear or discomfort to once again consider sexual relationships in their lives.

I highly recommend this book to any senior who is searching for justification to allow themselves to begin and experience a second phase of sexual explorations.

Marilyn S. Bernstein,

Port Washington, NY

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